Baba

It is nearly June, and with that comes so many sad thoughts that I'm not ready to cope with yet. It means packing, cleaning, saying goodbye, and crying; however along with all the sadness there is something wonderful that is happening as well - the wonderful day we call Father's Day. Not only do I have the best father in the world, but now I also have the best Chinese dad (Candice's dad from Yueyang) and, as of yesterday, I have the best Baba (which means father in Chinese) as well. His name is Tyson, and this blog entry in dedicated to him.

  We met Yun (whom we later named Tyson) in interesting circumstances, and we've had interestingly wonderful times ever since. Just as a brief introduction to this awesome guy, Yun is 29; he currently works for the government getting paid ucho mucho money doing who knows what, but he was formerly a boxer/military man. He has been to every province in China except the three that you need a seperate visa for - Taiwan, Mongolia, and Tibet, and he also once went to North Korea for a boxing tournament. Yun has a big shiny scar near his left elbow from when he chased his friend into a big glass window when they were16, and he also has a pretty ugly mole on his right shoulder that has 5 or 6 disgustingly long hairs growing out of it. Yun commonly wears a black fish net wife beater, which he pairs with his 1,750yuan man satchel that he brings everywhere, and he lives with his mother and dog Michael, who may be the most adorable creature this world has ever see. Additionally, Yun has a special talent for breaking things in half using only a piece of paper, and he habitually likes to show off his well beyond average Chinese upperbody strength. Up until the last month or so Yun spoke only enough English to say "Hello," and if it were ever necessary I believe he could save the world with his natural charades skills.

    From the time we met Yun a month ago to today, he has been an absolute gem. He is defintely the closest with my head teacher Dianna, but he is great friends with the rest of us as well, and he loves to show his affection for us. Despite our efforts to stop him, it seems he is constantly buying us ice cream, or popcorn, or bread, or dinner, or paying for us to go here or go there. In some ways that is where his title Baba originated, apparently, with his very limited understanding of English words, sugar daddy was something he had heard before, and in a twisted sort of way that was kind of what he is to us. However, the connotation behind all that seems a little wrong, so to explain it in better terms, Yun basically became our father because we already consider Dianna our mother, and since we all think they should fall in love and get married, the pieces just sort of fall into place.

    When all seven of us girls were driving with Tyson to Zhu Hai yesterday, we couldn't help but feel that we were going on a road trip with the family. Our parents were in the front seat, and the six kids were just jamming in the back with the windows rolled down and the ocean breeze flowing through the car. We all spent the whole day together, and it was so much fun. No matter what we were doing, it was a constant fit of laughs. I dont often take guys shopping with me because I think it is a cruel thing to do to a man, but in Tysons case there is a huge exception. There is nothing that is more fun than shopping with a big hilarious Chinese body guard. In the five or so hours we spent in the underground of Gong Bei, there was hardly a moment where I felt like Tyson was not thoroughly enjoying himself - whether he was picking out hideous things for us to try on, adamantly telling us not to buy from certain vendors because they were "deceived," or even just helping us bargain, we were having a great time. I mean, I guess what guy wouldn't right? Seven girls who are all just basically in love with you..why wouldn't you like that? Every great once in a while he would get really frusterated when he couldn't explain something he wanted to say so he would either "shhh" us or ramble off in a fit of super fast Chinese, but for the most part between our broken bits of language on both sides, the language translator on his phone, and a ton of hilarious gestures of charades, practically everything got communicated beautifully. He even decided to give me a new Chinese nickname because apparently my old Chinese name was no more easy to pronounce than my English name. It was cute because as we would walk around the stores, he would call out "Li Li" just to make sure I would respond to it. After shopping we went to the beach and went Zorbing, had a BBQ in Kaiyin, and then went to Peters Place to watch our friend Ben play in his band.

    When we got to Peters Place, however, something extremely out of the ordinary happened. We pulled into our parking place, and on the ground beside the car we noticed an older couple lying on the pavement. At first we thought nothing of it, but when we walked closer to go inside, we realized that the woman had blood all over her face from a large gash in her nose, and the man was barely moving. Zhongshan is an amazingly safe place to live, but curiously enough we have heard these past few weeks an uncommon amount of stories about foreigners getting severely beat up late at night. Our initial response was one of fear and shock that this could have been another one of those accounts, but after nearly an hour of trying to get some sort of response from the couple, we determined that they were beligerantly drunk and that it was probably just the result of an accident. As we called a cab for them, helped clean up the woman, and then got the man on his feet and into the car, Tyson was just the sweetest guy in the world. He ran to and from his car grabbing water, tissues, and any other supplies we needed. Although the situation was highly out of the ordinary for all of us, he seemed just as comfortable as we were even though he had no idea what was going on. We were barely able to get any more information from the Irish couple because of their state than he could, but I loved that he kept asking me geniunely worried questions about everything that was happening. Because of the help that we were able to give to this couple, we were so uniquely blessed with a small opportunity to share the gospel. As we were putting the man, Graham, into the taxi, he said to my head teacher "Thank you for not being judgemental." For a long list of reasons that I will not name, we had every "excuse" to judge the situation, and yet somehow, none of us had that inclination. After thanking us, he asked the simple question "Are you religious?" to which we naturally responded that we were. He further questioned "If you dont mind me asking, what religion are you?" and we replied that we were members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to which he said "the Mormons... thank you, it really makes me think." In order for you to understand what that meant to us, it may be that you would have had to have been there and heard what we heard and seen what we had seen that night, but it was a moment that I will not soon forget. That man was unable to move or barely even speak for nearly the entire time we were with him, and yet still he was able to conjure up those questions, and recognize who we stood for. As Tyson watched and helped us, I think he may have noticed the effect that the whole situation had on us, and later that night he told us of his friend who went to America and found Christianity while in SanFransico. Though it is not acceptable to talk about religions in China, we were able to tell him later that night, as he described to us how sad he was going to be after we left, that at some later date when he was 100 years old, he would die, and we would all be happy and together again. He then began to tell us the very little that he knew of Christian religion. Though we could not address his many questions, it was wonderful to have the opportunity to be a light to these people so in need of light. Sometimes, even when we're in unothodox places we have the wonderful opportunity to be that beacon, and to show a Christlike hand to those who need it.

   Tyson gave us a wonderful weekend last weekend, and I love and will miss the guy a ton just as I love and will miss China a ton. It is a home as good as I have ever had.

 

In Memorium of a Fish

For those of you who know my family well, you know that, even from the very beginning, we have never had any place for pets in our home. I suppose we're just not the biggest animal lovers in a general way, and therefore no living thing not walking on two legs has entered our home with invitation in all the years I can remember.  We don't hate animals, nor do we necessarily dislike their company, we just aren't animal people. We aren't the type who cry at Homeward Bound, or feel a great deal of sympathy when watching the countless "Go on, get out of here..." master loves wild pet type movies. We just are people people who prefer to love people who have the capacity to talk back to us. However, all that being said, a few years ago this grinch's heart grew three sizes when, on my seventeenth birthday, I received a beautiful 15 cent goldfish from a co-worker of mine. For some reason, this fish, who I named Fergus Bartholemew Jr., entered my family with open arms. He was the most beautiful gold color, and I will stand by the fact that he was the most lively fish that ever swam the waters. Each time a person would enter the room, Barty get so excited and would swim around his blue-pebbled bowl as fast as he could - loop after loop. Simply the presence of a person in the kitchen got him more energized than words can express. As you would walk around the room, he would swim to the edge of the bowl nearest to you, following your every step. Barty could do tricks, he would nibble your fingers, he was always ready and excited to eat, and he was always able to handle anyone's pranks. I had one friend in particular who thought my love for Barty was so absurd that whenever she would come over she would hide him in horrible places - even like the microwave oven. Despite such shocks, Barty perserved long after anyone thought he would. I know that many, if not more likely most, of you find this all a bit over the top and riddiculous, but all I have to say is that this fish was perfect. He was everything you could ask for and more. My whole family loved the little guy, and he quickly came to have the best seven guardians that an animal could wish for. For every friend that ever met Barty, you understand his significance, and you know why I am so sad to say that after 3 1/2 years, this May 15th, Barty passed away. According to my mother, his light was just gone. His enthusiasm for life had been fading for a while, and it was just a matter of time. I'm glad I never saw him in any state other than perfect enthusiasm. When I heard Barty was getting sick, I made it perfectly clear to my family back home that nothing less than a good funeral complete with a casket and burrial would be acceptable. Thankfully, in accordance with my wishes, they had a beautiful little ceremony, and now Barty is buried with a little tombstone in my back yard. I write this entry, even though it has nothing to do with my adventures in China because I could not let this time pass without letting the world know of the wonder that was Barty. I miss the little guy.

 

With One Fish, you fish,

I dont need two fish

not black or blue fish

old or new fish.

 

You're the one who is my star

for you I'd buy a little car.

Say, what a splendid fish you are.

 

Yes, some are gold like you its true 

but never did they heal my blues.

Ne're were you bad, or even sad

since always you were very glad

Why were you ever glad glad glad?

I do not know, nor does my dad.

 

Once you were thin and then were fat

So big some called you "yellow cat"

From there to here and here to there 

My darling, you, stay in my prayer 

My Chinese Family

     I feel that with each new entry I am always saying how I've just had the most wonderful experience and it cannot possibly get any better. While in it's own right that has not been an exaggeration since everything here truly has been amazing, there can really be no comparison of the past to the weekend I just had in Yueyang. If I have had a better experience, not only in China, but in the entirety of my life, the memory has been forgotten or diluted. This weekend was simply perfect.

       In the three days I spent in that small village in Hunan, I did not see anything to match the beauty of Guilin, the modernity of Shanghai, nor the history of Beijing and yet in all my time here it is the most happy I have been. There is sort of peace that is indescribable in that small town. We went to Hunan to see a traditional Chinese wedding, but we were treated to so much more. I fell in love with China in Yueyang. Though I live and have spent most of my time in Zhongshan and I love the people I know here so much, as much as I hate to say it, I believe that the bonds and friendships that I formed in Yueyang overshadow everything else. I did not just meet Candice's family; I became family. To me Candice is now "wo de jie jie" and to her cousins I am "mei mei."

      Initially, I was nervous to live in her home - to be constantly surrounded by her family, but now that I know better I would not have it any other way.  Each morning at the Liu's, I woke up at nearly 6:00 to the hustled sounds of people going about their daily chores and preparations: the dogs barking, children playing in the road, and the rooster's call. In Yueyang, the mornings are cool and relatively dry; the wind pours through the open doors and windows of the house, and the breeze practically cancels out any humidity. It reminded me of mornings waking up at my grandma Pom Pom's house in Wyoming.  Throughout the day we spent most of our time playing with Candice's young cousins. At first there were just three girls, but soon, because we were the first foreigners to come to Yueyang, we had a small band of children following us everywhere we went. Though they don't  speak my language, I have never had so much fun with children and teenagers their age. Our piecemealed conversations of broken English and Chinese became a game in and of itself, but when you are trying so hard to understand one another, there is almost nothing that you cannot communicate. Generally, the three original girls would play with us while the surrounding boys would just watch on and giggle or conspire against us. We played very simple games like hot potato and hand slapping/clapping games. but we also just had fun exploring the village, walking through rice and tea fields, eating random food brought to us by the children, and rolling down hills. Though the day had very little in common with the sort of day taken from my own childhood, I felt like a kid again. Everything was simple, more fun, and more exciting.

     One of the more baffling things about Yueyang, is the unusual passage of time there. It is the sort of place where when you look at your watch even though it feels like it must already be late afternoon because of everything you have accomplished, you are suprised to find that it is still only nine or ten in the morning. It is as though each minute is given an extra 30 seconds. Despite the extra time and the overall slow pace of the day, however, it never creates a feeling of boredom. Even in the moments when you are just sitting and talking with one another, or  watching the people around you, you honestly never once wish you were doing anything else. Melanie, one of Candice's cousins, often came up to us, concerned that we were not being entertained, and would sweetly ask "are you boring?" At first the question threw us off guard not only because of the interesting usage, but also  because there could be nothing more untrue; we were not bored in any way. I felt more "boring" in Beijing or Shanghai than I ever felt there.

      When we weren't playing with the kids we were either play mah jong or basketball with Candice's other older cousins and it was so awesome as well. We got trashed in the basketball department, but it was a good time regardless. As far as the wedding is concerned, it was much different than I was expecting. It really wasn't anything like an American wedding other than the fact that the bride wore a white wedding dress for a short time. There was no ceremony where they actually "became" married because they are married as soon as they sign the legal papers, which they do the day or week before. The wedding is mostly just a celebration where you eat way way too much food, drink milk drinks and beer, get a nice big bag of milk candy, and have fireworks. They have a few additional traditional customs like the entrance of the bridal party in a fleet of decorated cars or sharing each other's tea for the first time, but other than that the wedding is pretty simple. My favorite part was probably walking up the street with the bride and groom while we were accompanied by the drums, trumpet, and symbols played by Liu Ming's friends. There was just so much energy and I loved being there to be a part of it. 

       On our last day there we were asked to go teach at the school up the road. We had mentioned our willingness to do so to one of the teachers earlier in the weekend, but since we had not heard anything from him since, we assumed that we wouldn't be taken up on our offer. However, Monday morning as we were preparing our bags to leave, a woman walked into the room and started to speak with us in our own language. We didn't know why she was there at first, but after the initial chit chat, she explained to us that that morning when she went to school, her students told her that English teachers were coming to teach them. She had heard nothing of the sort, but not wanting to dissapoint them she asked around and was informed that three American girls were living down the road. Apparently without much of a second thought, she left her class, and came down to get us. Candice was as suprised as we were, but we figured that we had enough time to go teach a short lesson, and still make it to the bus to go to Yueyang tower in time. I am so glad that we did. That classroom, filled with nearly 30 13-16 year olds, was some of the most fun I have had in China. We introduced ourselves, played telephone, took pictures, exchanged QQ numbers, and when it was time to leave a few of the boys came up to me and asked if we could play basketball. I really wanted to, but I also knew that we didn't have much time left, nor was I even sure if they would be permitted to leave class. They were persistant in their efforts, so I finally asked Candice and their teacher Elaine if were allowed, and a little reluctantly they agreed. As I walked back to the group of boys, it was obvious that word had spread, and the entire class was waiting in anticipation for my answer. When I called out that we were allowed to play, it was like something straight out of a movie. The entire classroom cheered, jumped and then ran down the stairs to the court talking and yelling in anxious excitement the whole way. Initially, we just shot a few hoops, and the boys tried to show off, but then we had them split into teams, and we were actually able to play a short game. I was slaughtered by the boys - they were extremely talented, so I suppose it was good that we had to end early. Though the kids were devastated to have us leave, it was so much fun, and I left that court with the largest of smiles on my face. It is hard to describe what this weekend meant for me. Its brilliance was in the details. It was in the smells and the feelings - the smiles more than the activites. It just made me forget the world,  forget my troubles and remember to love. Such loving makes you live fully in every moment - nothing wasted, nothing lost.