Half Becomes Whole

Being in China, as I'm sure you all have determined by now, has been a wonderful experience for me. I have learned so much from these people who live without guile or malice. They love with a genuinity that I believe is hard to find, and my life has been indescribably blessed by their presence. Up until today I think I could look at my experience here, and not feel as though anything were lacking; however, this afternoon I was beautifully humbled when, for the first time in nearly three months, I was able to partake of the sacrament again. We only have one priesthood holder in our area; therefore, up until this point, having the sacrament has been impossible. However, earlier this week one of our teachers, Neil, was given permission by the Shenzhen branch president to perform the ordinance alone. I cannot describe what it meant to all twenty of us crammed into that small apartment dorm, watching him prepare the sacrament on that small, sheet-covered suitcase. Our circumstances were humble, but our hearts were more prepared and more eager than they could have been even in the tabernacle.

     When I came to China I knew that I would have the limited opportunity of having the sacrament, and yet, I arrogantly assumed that as long as I kept reading my scriptures and praying, that I would not be too greatly affected. If it weren't for today's experience, I suppose I would probably continue to believe that, but by having the sacrament this afternoon, and taking the time to focus solely on the covenants I have made with my Father and Savior, it has been easy to feel that there has been a gap in my life. Since I have been here, things have slowly shifted priority, and I recognize now what a significant blessing the sacramanet truly is to us. It is not just a reminder of a commitment made in the past, it is a renewal of that commitment and covenant. Although I have often reminded myself of the covenants I have made, there is a significance in the power of the sacrament, and it's symbolism that allows us to more easily act on those covenants and create a new starting point on our long journey. Though I would never wish not having the sacrament on anyone, I am grateful that this experience enabled me to more fully understand the significance of what this ordinance brings to my life. Sadly, it is by having it not in my life, that I am able to come to fully understand why I desperately need and want it there. I cannot write the thoughts and feelings within me; they are more of impressions than concrete ideas but I know them to be true. Today, as we sat in that humble room, and sang hymn after hymn, I could feel the tender eagerness within each of us as we patiently waited to renew our covenants. The spirit filled my soul, and I literally felt clean. It was cleanliness free from worry, stress, guile, anxiety, or perverseness, and it just felt like peace. Perfect peace. I can equate it to the feelings I had at the Hong Kong temple. In the few hundred times I have partaken of the sacrament, it has been sad for me to realize how few of those times I have felt this calming spirit which is promised to me each and every time. It is meant to be a literal renewal, and it can feel like one every time if we are prepared for it.

   I await the day when this gospel is brought to this nation. The people are so prepared for it. They live it - even more than many who are a part of it, and I know that given the opportunity they will accept it. They are an amazing people.

 

As now we take the sacrament,
Our thoughts are turned to thee,
Thou Son of God, who lived for us,
Then died on Calvary.
We contemplate thy lasting grace,
Thy boundless charity;
To us the gift of life was giv'n
For all eternity.

As now our minds review the past,
We know we must repent;
The way to thee is righteousness—
The way thy life was spent.
Forgiveness is a gift from thee
We seek with pure intent.
With hands now pledged to do thy work,
We take the sacrament.

 As now we praise thy name with song,
The blessings of this day
Will linger in our thankful hearts,
And silently we pray
For courage to accept thy will,
To listen and obey.
We love thee, Lord; our hearts are full.
We'll walk thy chosen way.